The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
