so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
