At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
