Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
