Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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