Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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