please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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