Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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