If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
