No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
