Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
