blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
