i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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