He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize