i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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