If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize