he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize