No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
