you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
