Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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