Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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