ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
