Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
