pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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