It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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