Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
