Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
