whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Farmville is her only friend.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
