Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
