I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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