He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize