Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I should be sponsored by Trojan
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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