thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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