Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
