She's JV to your varsity
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
