it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize