Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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