Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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