this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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