Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
