he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
