High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
