I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
