they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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