Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

So i had sex for a couple seconds last night

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA

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(480): View more from Arizona

Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy

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(703): View more from Virginia

fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.

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(207): View more from Maine

I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.

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