OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Farmville is her only friend.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
