Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
