My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Found your dick twin last night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
