Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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