it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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