You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize