Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
