Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
