her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
