Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
