im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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