think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I CAN MOONWALK!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
