hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i drank out of a bidet.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
