"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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