Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
