I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
