she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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