Duck Duck Cougar?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I think pants incapable of making pants work
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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