You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
